Living can be hard to do
by xKLGx
Summary: Set after D/H before the epilogue. What happened after the war had ended? Will Harry cope? And who will be there to help him? H/G with R/Hr
1. Come Home

**Hey Guys! This is the first HP fic I have written so I hope you like it. If, like me, you are desperate to find out what happened before the epilogue, then read on to see my version of events. Unfortunately, I do not own any of the HP characters. That honour belongs to the genius that is J.K. Rowling. Enjoy! **

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Pain.

It can come in many forms: broken bones, cuts, bruises, accidents. That is what usually springs to mind when one is confronted with the word. But to Ginny Weasley, it triggered something else. She had found out the hard way that pain isn't just physical hurts. It can be deep down, right into your heart and soul. It can feel so bad that you ache from it. That was the pain she was feeling now, that she had felt for nearly a year. Her heart ached from not seeing the man she loved for over a week.

She sighed deeply as she looked through the window of the Burrow's living room, watching the sun bounce off the ground. It was a picturesque summers day outside, hard to believe that the fate of the wizarding world had hung in the balance just 8 days ago. It was because of this that the Saviour of said world hadn't been seen since.

Harry Potter.

That name was now uttered like a sacred litany amongst all. If he had been famous before, there were no words to describe it now. He had freed everyone from the darkness, the fear and despair. Everyone apart from himself that is.

Ginny huffed frustratedly as she thought back to when they had all last seen Harry. She and the rest of her family, including Hermione, Neville and Luna had all been gathered in the common room the morning after the final battle. It was then that Harry had emerged from the dormitories, looking far from rested, and muttered something about taking a walk. She had been about to follow him, but her mother had restrained her, telling her to give him some space. When he hadn't come back by the evening, everyone had grown worried. After a quick search they had found a note on his bed. Just a few simple words etched into a piece of parchment.

_I'm sorry. I can't do this. I need to get away._

Ginny knew what he was doing. He was blaming himself for it all, for all those who had died, he felt responsible.

_Stupid, noble git_

She knew where he was. After looking for two days, Hermione suggested they tried Grimmauld Place, only to find that none of them could get in. Not by floo, apparation or portkey. It had then become clear that Harry had barricaded himself inside, locking himself away from the world.

They had all tried banging on the door, using every spell they could think of, only to be told by Kreacher, through the door itself, that "Master Harry didn't want visitors, he wanted to be left alone." Maybe banging the door hadn't been such a great idea.

They had tried to convince Kreacher to let them in, but the old house elf had stayed loyal to his master's wishes.

Ginny found herself wishing that Kreacher was still like his old self, hating everyone including Harry. He would have let them in then. He wouldn't have cared.

She was so desperate to see Harry. That last year had been torture for her, not knowing where he was, listening desperately for any news about him. She knew snippets of what he had been up to but didn't have the full story. When she had seen him in the room of requirement, it took all her willpower not to fling her arms around his neck and snog him silly. She had been taken aback at how rough he looked. She knew that being on the run would have been no picnic for him but she hadn't expected such a shocking change.

He was taller, his hair had been the same adorable mess it always was and he had a scruffy stubble across his face. His clothes were torn and messy and he had been covered in dirt and looking like he was in desperate need of a decent meal. The thing that had shocked her the most were his eyes. The light seemed to have disappeared from the once emerald orbs, not as piercing as she remembered. But he had never looked more handsome to her.

She closed her eyes as she thought about what he must be going through, knowing he was mentally torturing himself, finding a way to place all the blame upon him. He needed someone to be there for him, to look after him. Not to be locked up in a creepy old house with a half batty elf.

She was pulled out of her thoughts as a loud cack sounded through the room, making her jump out of her skin. As she turned to find the source of the sound, she was shocked to see Kreacher standing in the middle of the room.

The little house elf stared at her, before his eyes darted quickly around the room.

"Kreacher?" she asked as she got up off the sofa "what are you doing here?"

The little elf looked extremely nervous and wrung his hands together as he fidgeted on the spot.

"Kreacher has come for help" he croaked "Kreacher's master is not well and he is needing help. Master doesn't sleep and he hasn't eaten any of Kreacher's cooking" he wailed.

Ginny ignored the stab in her heart and as she listened before she spoke.

"Did Harry send you?" she questioned him softly, but urgently.

Kreacher shook his head frantically before sobbing.

"Master does not know Kreacher is here! Kreacher sneaked out without permission to get help for Master Harry! Kreacher shouldn't have done it but he doesn't know what else to do! Master will be angry when he finds out Kreacher betrayed him! Kreacher is a bad elf!"

Kreacher was absolutely distraught now and had drawn the attention of several others inside the house. Hermione, Ron and Mrs. Weasley were all standing at the door.

"What's going on?" Ron grunted.

Ginny ignored him and kept her attention on the elf.

"Kreacher, did Harry say that you couldn't leave the house?" she urged.

Kreacher wiped his nose on his towel before answering "No"

"Then you haven't disobeyed him. He won't be mad at you. You're trying to help him."

"But what if Master Harry punishes Kreacher with clothes!" Kreacher yelled. He made move to smack his head against the coffee table but was restrained by Ginny's firm grasp.

Ginny shook her head firmly. "He won't Kreacher, I promise. He will know that you only came here to help him and you have done nothing wrong ok?"

He nodded, but looked unconvinced.

When he didn't speak again Ginny knelt besides him.

"Kreacher, will you take me to help Harry?" she asked "you said he needs help."

He looked up at her with large, watery eyes and nodded.

Ginny smiled at him before turning to address the others.

"Mum..."

"It's ok dear. Go on and bring him home" Mrs Weasley soothed.

Hermione and Ron nodded their support and she sent a grateful smile back at them before turning back to the elf.

"OK, let's go Kreacher."

The elf nodded and before she knew it, he had taken her hand and apparated back to Grimmauld place.

* * *

She steadied herself as she regained a sense of gravity. She had never seen the attraction to apparating.

Kreacher stood motionless staring up at her before turning his gaze up the long staircase. He looked extremely worried. As though something was going to fly down the stairs and attack him. Ginny didn't miss this and bent back down to address him.

"Kreacher. Would you be ok to go and find some food for Harry? I imagine he will be quite hungry."

Kreacher shook his head "Master won't eat. Kreacher has tried."

"He will if I make him" she muttered before looking back down at the elf. "Just a little something Kreacher, please?"

The little elf nodded. "I will make some onion soup that Master likes so much."

Ginny smiled at him. "Thanks Kreacher. I will call you when he's ready for it ok?"

He nodded before bowing and turning towards the kitchen.

"Kreacher" Ginny stopped him "what room is he in?" she asked when he turned.

"In Master Sirius' old room" and with that, Kreacher plodded into the Kitchen.

Ginny sighed. Of course he had locked himself into that room, torturing himself further, surrounding himself with the presence of another death he blamed himself for.

She began making her way up the stairs, her heart pounding. It was only now that she began to feel nervous upon seeing him again. They hadn't spoken in nearly a year. What would she say to him? Would he kick her out? Listen to her?

She sighed deeply as she came to the top of the staircase, eyes fixed on Sirius' old door.

_Too bad if he doesn't want to see me _she thought.

_I have waited a year to see him properly and he will listen to what I have to say _she resolved.

With this new determination she strode to the door and knocked.

There was no answer.

Not to be beaten, she tried again, much louder this time. She heard some form of movement in the room before it all went quiet again. He was definitely in there. He was just ignoring her.

_Stubborn arse_

Getting a little angry, she knocked again, with a great force that rattled the door.

She heard a croaky sigh from behind the door before she actually heard him speak.

"Kreacher, I appreciate the concern but will you please leave me alone" Harry's tired voice drifted through the door.

Ginny guessed from his tone that this was something he repeated to the elf on a regular bases.

Tired of knocking, her hand reached for the doorknob and opened the door, stepping inside the darkened room. It took her eyes a second to adjust before they began to search the room. Her eyes finally landed on a figure that was looking out of the window.

_Harry. Her Harry. _

Even though he had his back turned to her, she could she how exhausted he looked. His whole body sagged and looked as though it was taking all of the energy he had to keep himself propped up against the window frame.

She shut the door behind her, never taking her eyes off him. The noise of it clicking closed drew Harry's attention away from the window and onto her. She saw his eyes widen in surprise as they stared at her from behind his glasses.

They simply stared at each other, not speaking. Minutes or even hours could have passed by before he finally spoke.

"Ginny?" He asked softly.

That one word made her want to cry. The desperation and despair in his voice was almost more than she could bear. But breaking down in front of him wouldn't be any help right now. She stared at him for a moment, taking in the wounds which still hadn't fully healed which littered his face and arms.

"Oh, Harry" She whispered as she moved a little closer to him.

Harry backed up a little before replying. "Don't"

That one world made her stop dead in her tracks.

"Harry..." she began

"What are you doing here? How did you get in?" he croaked.

"It doesn't really matter how I got in. I am here to take you home." She replied stubbornly.

A sad smile occupied his face for the briefest of moments before he answered softly "I don't have a home."

She didn't know if it were the words themselves or his sincere belief in them that made it feel like her heart had been jammed in a vice. She willed the tears away; her crying right now wouldn't be very beneficial to either of them.

"Harry, that is not true. You do have a home. Your home is with the people who care about you. Who love you."

Harry let out a soft snort.

"Love me? How can they after what I have done! I don't deserve anyone." He turned away from her and resumed his position of looking out the window.

It was as she suspected. This, she mentally sighed, was Harry Potter's flaw. He always blamed himself for things that were beyond his control. She was pretty sure that if a mouse died he would find a way to place the blame upon himself.

"Well I think that's the stupidest thing I have ever heard you say" she paused as she let her words sink in. He made to move to show he has heard them, but she knew he was listening intently.

"Do you know how worried everyone has been about you these past few days? Mum is beside herself, Ron is desperate to see you, and Hermione has been pouring over every book she can find, trying to find a way to get in here."

She looked as he back as she heard him sigh.

"And what about me?" she continued. "Harry, I miss you so much. I am so worried about you"

He turned to face her "how?"

"How what?" she asked, puzzled.

"How can you feel that way after what I have done? How can you even look at me? Ginny, its because of me that Fred died!" he answered, his voice raising slightly.

She shook her head firmly and stalked towards him, uncaring that she was invading his space.

"Don't you DARE blame yourself for that. Fred's death wasn't your fault! It was the bastards who killed him!" she practically yelled.

Harry closed his eye firmly and shook his head.

She grasped his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. When she spoke again, it was much softer

"He chose to be there Harry. You didn't make him, he wanted to. Just like you didn't make Remus or Tonks or Colin or anyone else." Her voice cracked a little but she continued on "They were all there because they had something to fight for, because they believed in the cause. You can't blame yourself for every death. It was a war Harry. It's what happens. Yes, its devastating and heartbreaking, but we can't change it. Please stop doing this to yourself. You don't deserve to be blamed for anything."

At the mention of Remus, Tonks and Colin, a tear had slipped down Harry's cheek. Ginny brushed it away with her thumb.

"But if I had got there sooner, if I had gone to Riddle faster, they would still be here." He argued, his voice thick with tears.

Ginny once again shook her head "You can't possibly know that Harry. Stop blaming yourself for things you have no control over. If it weren't for you, hundreds of people would have died. You saved us Harry. You gave yourself up for everyone else. Why can't you see that?"

He sniffed a little before he looked deep into her eyes. She made no move to speak again.

"I don't deserve..."

"Stop it! You deserve to be happy. To live the life you fought so hard for. Live for them Harry. Live for them. Don't dishonour their memories by wasting away here."

"I don't know how to." He admitted softly and it broke her heart to hear it.

"I will help you Harry. We all will."

"why?" he asked

"Because we love you. Because I love you." She whispered.

Harry started a little as he heard those three words and more tears escaped his emerald orbs.

"You can't" he said desperately.

"I can and I do. Nothing you say is going to change that Harry. Nothing will ever make me ever stop loving you."

Harry looked at her for a moment before a sob fell from his throat. Ginny pulled him into a fierce embrace, resting her hand on the back of his head and stroking his hair softly.

Harry's arms wrapped around her tightly, as though scared she would disappear.

"I love you too Ginny." He spoke into her shoulder. "I love you so much and it killed me to be away from you."

"Shhh." She soothed as she let her own tears fall as she lowered them so they were now sitting on the floor.

She let him cry quietly into her shoulder, grieving together for all those they had lost. It seemed as though years of pent up emotion were spilling from him. She realised that this was probably the first time he had let it all out. He was crying for the parents he never knew, for Sirius, Dumbledore, Fred, Remus, Tonks, Dobby, Hedwig, Colin. It broke her heart that his losses were so substantial.

After a while, his cries lessened and they simply sat there, holding each other close.

At length, he pulled away, rubbing his eyes as he did so.

"Sorry" he mumbled, embarrassed.

She brushed a hand through his hair "don't ever apologise for how you feel Harry."

He reached out to grasp her hand in hers, looking down at where their hands connected.

"Harry, will you please come home?" she asked softly.

He nodded gently as he looked up at her. "yes" he whispered.

She flashed him a brilliant smile as she pulled him up from the floor.

"Go and get cleaned up and I will get you something to eat" she said.

He nodded as he made his way to the bathroom.

Ginny couldn't help the smile from spreading across her face. They had a long way to go, she knew that. It would take a while for Harry to heal, for any of them to. But they would get through it, they had all the time in the world to.

* * *

After Harry had showered and eaten a quick portion of soup, at Ginny's insistence and Kreacher's delight, they were ready to go. With a promise to Kreacher that he would call him if needed, Ginny grasped his hand and apparated them to the burrow.

They arrived in the garden, just at the end of the path that led to the Burrow's door.

"I never did like apparating" Harry muttered as he regained his senses.

"me neither" Ginny replied.

She pulled on their still clasped hands in the direction of the house but stopped when she felt resistance from Harry. She turned to look at him and was greeted with a look of uncertainty.

"Harry, everyone in this house loves you and wants you to be here. No one blames you, for anything. Come on" she reassured.

Harry looked up at the house, so welcoming and homey. He had some of his best memories here and he knew that inside where the people he loved. His family.

He smiled at Ginny as she pulled him up the path to the door.

"Brace yourself. Mum may pounce" Ginny grinned.

Harry let out a chuckle just before the door floor open and he was pulled into the arms of one very emotional Molly Weasley.

"oh Harry dear! Thank goodness you are home" she cried and she clung tightly to him.

Harry hugged her back before she pulled away at arm's length and looked at him sternly.

"don't you ever do that to me again Harry James Potter. I won't have my children running off like that."

Her words warmed Harry's heart as he smiled at the woman who was like a mother to him.

"I promise I won't" he replied as he looked over at Ginny, who returned his smile with one of her own.

Harry was finally home.

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**There you have it guys, I hope it lived up to your expectations. I was thinking about making this into a full story instead of a one-shot so let me know your thoughts! **


	2. Healing

**Hey Guys. Thanks to all of you who took the time to review- it's nice to hear that there are people out there who enjoyed the beginning of the story! Reviews give me the inspiration to continue and, as you can probably guess, I am making this into a full story. There is quite a lot of talk in this chapter but there are a few more characters. Enjoy! **

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After finally being released by Mrs. Weasley and then pushed into the kitchen with the promise of "something substantial to eat", Harry turned to face his two best friends.

Ron and Hermione simply stared at him.

"So, on a scale of one to ten, how mad are you at me right now?" he asked sheepishly.

Hermione chose to answer his question by flinging herself into his arms.

"Very" she said "but you redeemed yourself by coming back. Just please don't shut us out again." She pleaded.

Harry hugged her back tightly "I promise" he replied.

Hermione pulled herself from him and he turned to Ron, who was grinning at him. Harry couldn't help but smile back.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"You look awful mate" Ron answered, never losing his smile.

Harry chuckled slightly as he gave him a swift hug. "Thanks"

"You know me, always here to give you an honest opinion."

Before they could take the conversation any further, Mrs Weasley had pushed Harry into one of the chairs and placed in front of him the largest sandwich he had ever seen.

"Eat up dear, you're much to thin" she said with a smile as she patted him on the cheek and turned to get him a drink.

"Blimey, I don't even know where to start" Harry muttered as Ginny, Ron and Hermione joined him at the table.

"I heard somewhere that you should never eat something bigger than your head" Ron said as he surveyed the sandwich.

"And yet, you often ignore that advice" quipped Ginny.

The others laughed as Ron chose to answer with a dignified raise of his head. He leaned out to pull a bit of meat off Harry's sandwich but before he could reach his mouth, a sharp slap was applied to his hand.

"Ronald Weasley that is not for you!" Mrs Weasley scolded.

"Jeeze Mum, it was only a bit of turkey!" he defended.

"I don't care, Harry needs all the nuitrience he can get." She replied as she set a pitcher of pumpkin juice on the table, which the others help themselves to.

Ron crossed his arms, grumbling as Harry finally managed to pick up the sandwich and was now faced with the difficult task of how to possibly take a bite out of it.

Ginny watched in amusement and he brought it to his mouth several times, only to pull it away again. Eventually he settled for ripping it apart and eating it in sections.

"I think you need lessons from Ron on how to inhale your food" came a voice from the foot of the stairs.

Harry turned to see George, looking as though he hadn't slept in days. His complexion was pale and his hair was a mess. However, there was the tiniest hint of a smile on his face.

Harry made to stand up but George stopped him with a pat on the shoulder.

"No, don't get up on my account Harry. Stay there and eat your door wedge."

Harry smiled, internally relieved that George didn't seem to be angry with him.

"See, what did I tell you?" whispered Ginny in his ear.

George grabbed himself a glass of pumpkin juice before once again returning up the stairs.

"How is he doing?" Harry asked.

Ginny sighed "Not great. The first few days back here he didn't talk to anyone but he has slowly been coming out of his room. He hasn't been back to the shop yet."

Harry nodded, pushing the remains of the sandwich away. The thoughts of Fred had forced all hunger away from him.

He looked over at Ginny and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as he saw her eyes glisten.

"It will be ok" he said softly.

She nodded " I know it will."

* * *

After Mrs Weasley accepted the fact he didn't want any more food, Harry made his way upstairs to Bills room which he was now using as his own.

"I will be back in a minute, I'm just going to sort my stuff out" he assured Ginny.

Sensing that perhaps he needed a little space, Ginny reluctantly let him go. She knew that he would have to adjust to being back around so many people.

"So, how was he when you found him?"

Ginny turned around at Hermione's question as they moved into the lounge with Ron.

"Bad." She answered truthfully as sat back into the sofa she had occupied several hours ago. "He had shut himself up in Sirius' room and at didn't want to talk to me at first."

Hermione nodded.

"But you managed to bring him back" assured Ron from the other sofa he and Hermione were now inhabiting.

"Yeah, after trying to convince him that he can't blame himself for things he cannot control. I still don't think he fully believes it. But it's a start I guess."

"He's going to need time. After all he's been through, not just the past few months but the past few years, he needs to accept what has happened and move on." Hermione stated.

"I know. And I will be there for him every step of the way. I just wish he understood how many people are here for him." Ginny replied.

"I think he has trouble understanding it because he's not used to it. He spent years at the Dursley's being ignored and he learnt to live with it. I also think he has trouble opening up to people because he believes that everyone he cares about is going to be taken from him. It silly I know but to him it makes sense after what he's been through." Hermione theorised. "Even when we were on the run he never fully opened up about how he was feeling. He thinks by hiding it he won't worry us."

"Well he's wrong there" Ginny muttered with a longing look towards the stairs.

* * *

Harry opened his trunk and surveyed the mess inside. The last time he had looked inside it was when he arrived at the burrow over a year ago. It was mainly filled with items from school. He realised that could probably do with making a trip to Diagon Alley soon, unless he wanted to wear old school robes that were now several sizes too small.

He pulled his moleskin pouch from under his jumper and reached inside, pulling out the photograph album Hagrid had given him in his first year.

He flicked through the pages, looking at the faces smiling up at him. Half the people in the photographs were no longer here. He sighed deeply. So much had been lost. He flicked back to some older pictures of his parents that Sirius had given him what felt like a lifetime ago.

He smiled softly as he watched his parents dance at their wedding, eyes firmly on each other. They looked so happy.

He was pulled from his musings by a knock on the bedroom door.

Harry looked up and was surprised to see George standing there.

"Hey Harry, I'm not bothering you am I?" he asked.

"Of course not, come in"

George slowly walked into the room and sat down on the bed next to Harry. For a moment neither spoke.

George looked down at the open album in Harry's lap and watched for a minute as James twirled Lily around the dance floor.

"Does it ever get easier?" George asked, not taking his eyes from the photo.

Harry knew exactly what George was talking about and joined him in observing the photo.

"No. Knowing that they are gone and you can never see them again, it's horrible. And whenever you think about them it hurts. Right down into your soul. But you accept it. You have too."

George nodded and the quiet resumed before he spoke again.

"How do you go on Harry? I feel like half myself is missing and it hurts so much it feels like I will die from the pain. I feel like I have not only lost him, but I have lost myself too."

Harry turned the page to another picture, this time of James, Lily, Sirius and Remus. He stared at it as he mentally prepared his answer.

"You don't need people telling you that given time the hurt will go away and it will get easier because it won't. The hurt never goes away. It will always be there. But it shows you how much you loved them. And to feel something is better than nothing. But you learn to deal with it. Every day you get up and carry on and go through stuff that you don't think really matters but you make yourself do it."

Harry paused a moment before continuing.

"When Sirius died, I told myself that was it. No more. I seriously considered giving up and walking away. Because the pain was too much. It wasn't fair" he paused and gave a sad smile " You know, when Dumbledore took me back to Hogwarts after what happened at the Ministry I actually trashed his office?"

Harry had never told anyone this before. Not even Ginny.

George looked at him shocked.

Harry nodded.

"I told him that I quit, that the pain was too much. He said that there was no shame in what I was feeling, that it was my greatest strength. That the pain was part of being human. I didn't want to believe it at the time but as usual, Dumbledore was right."

"What made you go on?"

"Knowing that I had to carry on for everyone else. I had to do it for them. Because otherwise, it would all have been lost and then Sirius' death would have been for nothing. "

The two were silent for a moment before Harry spoke again.

"Sirius once told me that the ones that love us never truly leave us. As long as we hold them in our hearts they will never leave. The hurts never going to go away George but you will be able to accept it. You loved Fred and you will go on loving him. And missing him."

George let out a sob and Harry wrapped an arm around his shoulders in comfort. George rested his head against Harry's shoulder as he let the tears fall, letting out the grief of losing his best friend. His twin.

"Fred would want you to live your life George. Do it for him. Because he can't" Harry said, mirroring the words Ginny had spoken to him.

George nodded against Harry's shoulder.

"I will" he said, determination in his voice " Fred would be laughing his socks off if he could see me now." he let out a watery chuckle which Harry joined in with.

George sat up straight and wiped his eyes before turning to face Harry.

"Thank you" he said sincerely before adding "little brother."

Harry smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "You're welcome George."

Unbeknownst to them , Ginny, who had come up to check on Harry, had heard their conversation. She brushed the tears from her face before quietly making her way back downstairs. It would take time but everyone was starting to heal. They just needed to help each other through it.

* * *

Later that evening they were all sitting down to a large chicken dinner that Molly had prepared. Arthur had not long arrived back from the Ministry and was happy to find that Harry was back with them. After making small talk, the topic of discussion soon moved onto Fred's funeral, which was taking place tomorrow.

The mood at the table had shifted and for a moment, no one spoke. Just the sound of cutlery hitting plates echoed through the kitchen.

"Well, it's going to be a fun affair" George said suddenly.

Everyone turned to look at him.

"What?" asked Molly.

George smiled. "Fun. As in fireworks, bright clothing and pranks. Just how Fred would have wanted it."

The others all thought for a moment before agreeing. It seemed like the most fitting send off for the well known prankster.

"Fred would be annoyed if he didn't go with a laugh and that is exactly what I am going to give everyone" George concluded with a wink.

The others simply laughed in agreement.

"It's also Remus and Tonks' funeral the day after tomorrow" Arthur said gently.

The forkful of potatoes in Harry's hand stopped halfway towards his mouth. Suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore.

Ginny notice this and place a soothing hand on his back.

With a concerned look at Harry, Arthur continued "Andromeda is holding it at her house so she can look after Teddy more easily"

Arthur was stopped mid-sentence by the clattering of Harry's fork as it dropped to the table from his limp hand.

Everyone turned to look at him. Harry's expression had taken a stricken look as his gaze remained fixed on his place.

"Harry?" Ginny asked softly but he made no move to answer.

She repeated his name again, this time a little louder and she tapped his shoulder.

Harry jumped out of his trance and turned to look at her.

"Teddy. I completely forgot about him!" he muttered, slightly distraught. "Merlin. What kind of man forgets about his own Godson!"

Molly quickly stepped in to cut him before he launched into a verbal attack on himself.

"Harry dear, its fine. I talked to Andromeda and she said you are more than welcome to see Teddy when you are ready."

"She must think I'm horrible for ignoring him!" he muttered placing his face in his hands.

Ginny pulled them away and held them in her own.

"Stop it Harry. She understands perfectly that there has been a lot for you to deal with. She by no means thinks ill of you. It's ok. When you are up to seeing him you can go ok?"

Harry nodded hesitantly, keeping a firm grip on her hand.

"Right then" Molly announced in an attempt to calm the mood, "time for dessert."

* * *

After Molly had made sure that he ate at least four helpings of everything, Harry made his way out into the garden.

He walked towards the little fence that separated the garden from the fields, latching his hands onto it as he looked up to observe the dark sky that was littered with seemingly thousands of twinkling stars.

He closed his eyes and gave a deep sigh.

"Mind if I join you?" came Ginny's voice.

Harry didn't answer but turned to offer his hand to her before pulling her to his side and wrapping an arm around her waist.

The couple gazed up at the night's sky, just enjoying the stillness.

After a moment Ginny turned her gaze to Harry, who was still staring at the sky, seemingly deep in thought.

"What are you thinking?" she asked quietly, fearing that speaking louder would ruin the stillness.

Harry paused for a moment before speaking, still looking up.

"You. Us." He replied at length.

He finally looked down at her before pulling her to the bench at the garden's boundary.

They settled on the wooden bench, facing each other.

Harry looked down at his hands as he spoke.

"This year has been the worst ever. Constantly on the run, constantly fighting, constantly being afraid...and constantly missing you."

His stare remained fixed on his hands and Ginny sat quietly, not wanting to interrupt him.

"There were so many times I just thought about giving up and coming back to you. That's all I cared about. Selfish I know. I spent ages looking at your dot on the Marauders' map when I was on watch because it made me feel closer to you. And knowing that if I left I could be with you in a matter of hours. ...I was so close to doing it, so many times."

At his pause Ginny reached out to place a hand over where his were joined. He finally turned to look at her.

"I know that I hurt you when I left and I'm sorry. But I knew that if I didn't Riddle would come after you. And if I lost you Ginny, I wouldn't be able to carry on. I know that's the one death that would actually kill me. I didn't want to leave you but I did it to protect you."

His eyes begged her to understand. And she did.

"It did hurt Harry, but I knew you were only doing it to protect me. You're still an arse for doing it to me though." She added with a smile.

He smiled back "I know" he agreed.

"Not day went by when I didn't think about you Harry. I hated not knowing where you were and if you were ok but I kept telling myself you were doing what had to be done. For the greater good."

They were quiet again for a moment, just sitting in there on the old bench.

"Did I miss my chance? Have I lost you?" he asked hesitantly.

She shuffled forwards and placed her hands on his face. Her eyes were full of tears and she sniffed to keep them at bay.

"You still have your chance. You never lost me. You're the most brave, humble, and caring and stupidly blind man I have ever met" she said as a lone tear slid down her check "and I love you so much. It takes more than going off to save the world to get rid of me." she chuckled.

Harry laughed back "it was because of you , you know. That I came back. When I went to the forest my last though was of you and when Riddle killed me I was given the choice to go on or come back. With you here there was no question that I wouldn't come back."

"there's the silver lining I've been looking for" she smiled, and for the first time in a year, their lips met.

This kiss wasn't like any they had shared before. It was soft and gentle yet demanding and passionate. And the promise of what was to come.

Harry kissed her back as his arms wrapped around her waist and hers circled his neck. She was wonderful and soft and...Ginny. As his tongue duelled hers he felt the shattered pieces of his heart start to come back together.

Ginny's hands sank deeper in his thick, black hair as she finally felt happy for the first time in months.

* * *

Whilst in their embrace, they failed to notice the audience they had acquired at the kitchen window. Molly looked like she was going to burst with excitement.

"Ergh. Must they suck each other's faces off? I saw enough of that last year."

"Oh Ronald" Hermione scoffed as she slapped him upside the head.

"What?" he said indignantly.

"I didn't even know they were together" Molly said happily.

"yep. Got together in 6th year, snogged each other silly, Harry broke it off to be noble and now they are back to snogging each other silly." Explained Ron.

"You have such a way with words" Hermione commented dryly.

"Oh the dears" Molly sighed as she grasped her hands together.

"Steady on Mum, don't go planning the wedding yet" teased George.

"Oh don't be silly, of course I'm not" she muttered, although the look on her face suggested otherwise.

"Come on, let's leave them be" smiled Arthur as he steered Molly into the lounge.

"I bet Mums already seeing the grandchildren" laughed George.

Molly heard him and clapped excitedly "oh imagine what they would look like! With black hair and brown eyes!"

"Well done George" congratulated Ron.

"Let's just hope they don't come in yet. Give Mum a chance to cool down" George laughed.

* * *

Luckily, Harry and Ginny didn't return straight away, choosing just to sit together. They eventually came back into the house soon after Arthur, Molly and George had all gone to bed.

The two walked into the lounge, joining Ron and Hermione who had been snuggled together on the sofa.

Ron looked at their joined hands and smirked.

"Finally saw sense then mate?" he sniggered as Harry seated himself in an armchair and Ginny in turn seated herself in his lap.

"Your one to talk" Harry said as he gestured his head towards them.

"So, I hear that they are hoping to have Hogwarts opened in time for the new term" stated Hermione after a few minutes had passed.

"They better get a move on with all the repairs then, otherwise they won't open by September 1st" muttered Ron.

"I'm sure they will" added Ginny as she played with Harry's fingers, rubbing her thumb over the faded scar that littered the back of his hand.

"Do they need any help repairing the castle?" Harry asked, finally joining in with the conversation.

"Dunno" Ron answered "I'm sure there are plenty of people there right now."

Harry simply nodded in response as the two couples fell back into a relaxed silence.

"I'm going back" blurted Hermione suddenly. The others all looked up at her. "When Hogwarts re-opens, I'm going back. I want to get my NEWTs." She clarified.

No one was particularly surprised, after all, education was everything to Hermione.

"Me too" agreed Ginny "I want to go back. Will be nice to have a normal year at Hogwarts for a change"

"A normal year at Hogwarts. Is that even possible?" asked Ron with a smirk.

"How about you Ron?" Hermione asked.

"I'm not sure. Haven't really given it much thought to be honest" he said.

"I'm not going back." Harry mumbled, attracting the attention of the other three.

Ginny had been expecting this. But selfishly, she had been hoping that he would join her so they could share their final year together.

Hermione looked shocked for a moment before she spoke "Why not Harry? You love Hogwarts."

For a moment he didn't answer, he simply watched Ginny's fingers entwine with his own.

"You know why. There are still Death Eaters out there that need to be caught. I need to help hunt them down" he whispered.

"That's not your job mate, it's the Aurors" argued Ron.

"Well, I want to be an Auror so I was going to have a word with Kingsley to see if he would let me help. I need to do this Ron. It is my job to make sure they all get caught."

Ginny remained seated in his lap, no saying anything. She knew he would want to do this, but it didn't make it any less scary for her to hear. The last thing she wanted was him to be going after rouge death eaters who were angry at the fall of their master.

Ron was getting visibly angry now.

"It's not your job. Don't you think you have already done enough? Merlin Harry, give yourself a break!"

"Ron," Hermione muttered as she placed a calming hand on his arm.

Harry's eyes met Ron's and for a moment the two best friends just stared at each other.

"I need to do this Ron" he mumbled.

The truth was that Harry wasn't sure he could face going back. Hogwarts was the first home he had ever known but now whenever he thought about all he could see were images of the final battle. Of Voldermort. The dead bodies that had been placed in the hall. People he loved getting killed. He didn't think he was ready to face all that just yet.

Ron took a moment to calm down and was about to answer when Ginny finally spoke.

"Ron, its Harry's choice"

Ron had been sure that Ginny was going to dig her heels in and stop Harry from going, he was counting on her to back him up. He looked at her sharply and saw her eyes begging him to drop the subject.

After a moment he shrugged back into the chair, not saying anything else.

"I think it's time we went to bed." Suggested Hermione after a rather uncomfortable silence.

The others nodded in agreement and filed up to their respective rooms.

As Harry reached the door to his room, he turned to look at Ginny.

As much as she wanted to stay with him, she knew it would cause a lot of trouble if her mother found out and the last thing she wanted to do was add unnecessary nuisance to her Mothers already overbared shoulders. She smiled at him reassuringly and walked up to him, pulling him into a hug.

"It's ok Harry, I will be right across the landing if you need me."

He hugged her back before kissing her forehead and pulling away.

"Same goes for you too" he smiled gently.

She leaned up and applied a quick but gentle kiss to his lips before reluctantly moving herself from his embrace.

"I love you" she smiled as she walked across the landing.

"I love you too" he replied, watching her as she pushed open the door to her room.

"Goodnight Ginny" he whispered, stepping into his own room.

"Goodnight Harry"

* * *

Ginny woke with a start, breathless and confused.

What on earth had made her wake up so violently? She looked at the watch on her nightstand which indicated the time was only 3:17am.

She huffed. Great, now should would never get back to sleep. She smacked her pillow a few times, unsuccessful trying to mould in back into shape before lieing back down.

She stared at the ceiling, her brain revisiting the events of the day.

At least Harry was back. She immediately felt better knowing he was safe. Just across the hallway fast asleep himself.

Her mind began to wonder back to the few hours she and Harry had spent in the garden earlier in the evening, just being together again.

_And the snogging had been very nice too _she thought to herself with a grin.

Suddenly, without warning, a loud yell permitted the silence of the night.

Ginny once again bolted upright and scrambled to reach her wand.

The yelling sounded again and she was out her bedroom door faster than a snitch. She nearly collided with her father on the landing who also had his wand in hand and was closely followed by her Mother.

Before anyone could say anything there was another yell and with a horrible start, Ginny realised that the yelling was coming from Harry's room and she burst though his bedroom door.

Harry was thrashing about in his bed, in the throes of looked to be a particularly violent nightmare. He was covered in sweat and his face had an agonizing look across it.

"NO. STOP...PLEASE" he cried out.

By now Hermione, Ron and George had all arrived and they had all squashed into the small room.

Ginny rushed to Harry's side and cautiously placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Harry? Wake up. It's ok, come on, wake up"

His thrashing continued and he let out more yells.

"STOP! DONT KILL THEM!" he all but screamed.

Ginny turned to face the others.

"What do I do?" she asked, panicked.

No one answered, no one seemed to have a clue.

Hermione ran forward and, placing her hand on Harry's sweat soaked head, attempted to rouse him.

"Harry. Wake up. Harry...It's not real" she pleaded.

Their efforts were futile and Ginny could hear her mother begging Arthur to do something.

Before they knew it, George came forward and used his wand to fire a jet of water straight at Harry's face.

Harry lurched away sputtering, grabbing his wand reflexively.

He was breathing heavily as his glassless eyes scanned the room.

"It's ok Harry, it's just us. You were having a nightmare" Ginny soothed, lowering his arm so the wand no longer pointed at them.

Harry ran a hand down his face as he let out a shaky breath. He felt his glasses get pressed into his hand and he quickly shoved them on. Now that he could properly see, he was met with 6 pairs of worried eyes staring at him.

Harry was beyond embarrassed. Not only had he been screaming like a child, but he had woken the whole house by doing so. Some saviour he must look like.

"Stupid idiot" he muttered quietly to himself.

"What's stupid Harry" asked Ginny softly.

He hadn't meant for anyone to that.

_Well done Potter_ he mentally scolded himself.

"nothing, just a stupid dream" he replied, his eyes fixed on the quilt that lay tangled at his middle.

Mrs Weasley shuffled towards the bed, being careful not to trip over the end of her dressing gown.

"Harry dear, there is nothing stupid about it." she soothed

Her words did little to comfort him.

"Did you want me to fix you a drink? Perhaps some nice cocoa?" Molly asked as she stood beside Hermione.

Harry simply shook his head.

Having known Harry for years now, Hermione knew when he was uncomfortable and he was throwing off all the signs. He didn't want so many people there.

"I think we should all get back to bed" she said to the room at large.

She grabbed Harry's hand and gave it a quick squeeze, smiling when she felt him squeeze back, before moving over to the others and ushering out the door after a murmured round of "good nights"

Her eyes met Ginny's, who nodded grateful and she smiled in return.

There was now only her and Molly occupying the room. Ginny looked up to her Mother and mentally pleaded to let her stay.

Molly sighed as she looked between her daughter and the distressed boy sitting on the bed. He had made no movement since Hermione had left.

She nodded her head gently, but conveyed with her eyes what she expected of her. Ginny understood.

"Thanks Mum" she whispered.

Molly leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before doing the same to Harry.

"Goodnight Harry dear" she replied as she moved quietly out of the room before shutting the door behind her.

Ginny turned her attention back to Harry, whose angry glare was still being targeted at the duvet.

She knew that he obviously didn't want to talk about it just yet, so she didn't push him. she noted that his t-shirt was soaked with sweat so she made her way to the dresser to find him a new one.

"Let's get you a clean shirt"

She heard him move about on the bed as she rummaged through his limited supply of clothes.

"we need to get you to Diagon alley" she murmered as she pulled out an old Gryffindor quidditch t-shirt.

Harry had since climbed out of bed and removed his top, throwing it onto the chair that sat underneath the window.

"ok then" Ginny began as she turned "here..."

She stopped dead as she stared at him in shock. It took a moment for Harry to realise she was staring at his chest.

He looked down, following her gaze and was greeted with the sight of the giant ugly bruise that marred his chest. It was what was left from where Voldermort had hit it with the killing curse for the second time. The mark hadn't faded at all in the 8 days since he had gained it.

Ginny gasped in horror as she stared at it. The evidence that showed how she had once again nearly lost him forever. It was a shocking reminder of that night and visions of Harry lying lifeless in Hagrid's arms came rushing back to her, hitting her like a tidal wave.

"Is that where?..." she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.

Harry simply nodded solemnly.

They hadn't actually discussed what he had done this past year but in the week he had been gone, Hermione and Ron had given her a brief idea by answering her most burning questions. She had also spoken a little to Hagrid about what had happened in the forest. The rest would be up to Harry to inform her. It was his story to tell after all.

She moved towards him, the t-shirt held limply in her hand, and gently placed her free hand over the bruise.

Harry took in a sharp intake of breath but made no move to stop her.

Instinctively, she leaned forwards and pressed her lips to the wound, as though by doing so, she would be able to heal it.

"does it hurt?" she asked quietly.

"Not as much as it did" came his simple answer.

Her eyes moved across his chest, landing on the oval scar that now graced it. Another new addition to his battle worn body. Her fingers traced gently over it.

"This is new"

Harry looked down and watched her observing the scar.

"It was from Slytherin's locket" he muttered, answering her unspoken question.

Her fingers then trailed up to his right shoulder and down his arm a little.

"and this?" she asked of the jagged scar and what looked like puncture wounds.

"Nagini. She attacked me and Hermione when we went to Godrics Hollow."

Ginny closed her eyes at that new piece of information. It was again a reminder of how he so easily could have been gone forever.

Her fingertips roamed his now cool skin, making a pathway from all his scars, connecting the new and old. She didn't like how many new ones he had acquired on his mission.

Finally, her fingers settled on the scar on his forehead, the first one he ever received. The one that marked him with a life of hardship these past 16 years. The one that many had once accused he wore like crown. The one that made him so famous and recognisable.

To her it showed her his strength and courage. His fierceness to fight. To her it showed that it was her Harry. Not the Chosen One or the Boy-Who-lived. Just Harry, the man who owned her heart.

She repeated her previous actions and leaned up to place a kiss upon it. As she pulled away, Harry caught her lips with her own and gave her a gentle kiss.

She pulled away and looked into his eyes. "Soon you will have to tell me everything" she requested gently.

He nodded. "I promise."

She handed him the t-shirt- a silent indicator that he should put it on, before she made her way towards the bed and began to rearrange the covers that were partially lying upon the floor. After doing so she climbed into it before holding her hand out to him.

"Come on. We better get some sleep."

Harry looked at the door before staring back at her.

"Mum knows that you need someone with you right now."

Harry was reluctant. Not because he didn't want her there, but because he didn't want her to once again witness what the nightmares did to him. Since the final battle he had gotten hardly any sleep and he didn't want to be disturbing her when he knew she needed to rest.

"Come on Harry" she spoke again, her hand still held out to him.

"what if I wake you up?" he questioned worriedly.

"so what if you do. It means I can be right here to help you."

Harry gave in and climbed into the bed, settling on his back and pulling Ginny towards him, who in turn snuggled into his side.

"Goodnight Harry."

"Goodnight Gin."

* * *

**I know that this chapter was filled with a lot of talk and angst, but I feel as though their problems need to be discussed. It's not something they can all just ignore. Hope you guys liked it- leave a review and let me know either way. Coming up in the next chapter is Fred's funeral and Harry finally meets his godson. **


	3. Struggling with grief

**Hello my faithful readers! Again, this is another chapter with lots of talk and discussion. I hope it was worth the wait! And just a question to you all: How many times have you been to see Deathly Hallows Part 2? I am at 4 times at the moment, but I'm sure I will go back and see it again soon! :D Enjoy! **

* * *

As hard as he tried, he couldn't get back to sleep. Not that he really wanted to if all that awaited him in slumber were nightmares. Ginny was sound asleep, curled into his side with his arm wrapped around her. He had spent most of the night just watching her sleep, thankful that she at least was able to get some rest. He pressed a kiss to her forehead before looking in the direction of the window.

The sun hadn't quite broken into the sky yet so he guessed it was sometime before dawn. Knowing there was no chance of him sleeping, he gently moved Ginny away from him and quietly climbed out of the bed and, grabbing his sweater to protect him from the early morning chill, he made his way downstairs.

He ambled into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes before placing his glasses over them. He jumped in shock when he saw that he wasn't alone in the kitchen- he hadn't been expecting anyone else to be awake this early.

"Harry dear, what are you doing up?" Molly asked with a concerned look at him. She was sat at the kitchen table in her dressing gown, a mug of tea cradled between her hands. She looked tired.

"Erm...I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep" he muttered, not wanting to worry her with the fact that he hadn't actually gotten any more rest.

She observed him for a moment, not saying anything, as though trying to see if he was telling her the truth. To stop her from questioning him further, he spoke again.

"I'm sorry for waking you all up last night, I didn't mean..."

"Oh hush Harry. There is nothing you need to apologise for" she dismissed as she got up to get him a mug of tea.

Harry just stood there and nodded.

She placed his mug of tea on the table and nodded to the chair across from hers.

"Take a seat dear"

Harry seated himself and mirrored her stance by wrapping his hands around his mug.

A comfortable silence passed between them as they listened to the beginning of the day. The sun was slowly beginning to creep out of its slumber from behind the hill and the birds were welcoming the day with a chorus of song.

After a moment, Harry broke the silence.

"So, what has you up so early?" he asked her.

Molly smiled sadly into her mug before she answered. "I couldn't sleep. Needed to get up. Prepare myself for the day."

Harry nodded sympathetically and when he saw the tears pool at the corners of her eyes, he reached his hand across the table, encasing it around hers.

"I'm sorry."

She held his hand tightly as she bore her watery eyes into his.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Harry James" she whispered.

"But..."

"No" she shook her head "Don't for a second think that you are responsible. Fred..." she paused and swallowed thickly "Fred died fighting. Because he wanted to help. There is no way you are to be blamed for that."

Harry felt a lump form in his throat at her words.

"It's just hard accepting that I have to say goodbye to him. I'm his mother and it was my job to look after him..." Molly said, no longer able to hold back the tears.

Harry got up from his seat and pulled her into a hug, like she had done to him countless times when he had been upset.

He said nothing, choosing instead to comfort her with an embrace, giving her a shoulder to cry on. He rubbed her back in what he hoped was a soothing gesture as Molly finally let her emotions out.

"Molly..." Harry began, quickly getting her attention at his use of her first name, "You did look after him. Fred had such a good life. For starters, he had you and Arthur for his parents who provided a loving and happy family for him to grow up in; he had a wonderful home and great siblings who loved him. Everything good he had in his life was because of you." Harry whispered as she continued to cry on his shoulder. "You did everything a Mother should do, because you are everything a Mother should be." He soothed.

His words caused Molly an onslaught of fresh tears but Harry just hugged her, providing the same comfort that she so freely gave to everyone else whenever they needed it.

After a while Molly pulled back and wiped her eyes.

"I'm sorry Harry dear, I didn't mean to cry all over you" she smiled, embarrassed.

Harry just grinned back at her "you can cry on me anytime."

That caused a chuckle out of her as she placed a hand to his cheek. "You are a very good boy Harry Potter."

Harry wasn't sure whether it was the heartfelt certainty of which she spoke the words or merely the fact that it was she who spoke them, but he felt calmness wash through him. He sat there for a minute longer, mulling over the past few years as Molly got up to start the breakfast. During their conversation the sun had broken joyfully into the sky, lighting up the world that sat below it, welcoming the new day.

He stood up and turned to the Weasley Matriarch.

"Can I help you at all?" he asked quietly.

"Oh no Harry dear, I'm fine thank you."

He stood there for a moment, feeling a little useless when he heard footsteps drawing his attention to the stairs as he saw Ginny emerge.

She smiled softly at him, a gesture which he returned before she turned to Molly.

"Morning Mum"

"Morning Ginny dear" she replied, not turning from her position at the stove. It was clear to see she wasn't fully ok just from the tone she spoke in.

Ginny sent a questioning look towards Harry, who just shook his head and smiled reassuringly, not needing words to explain to her.

She accepted this and moved towards him, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Morning." She muttered into his chest.

"Hey" he whispered back.

They embraced silently for a few moments, the only sounds being made by Molly as she prepared the breakfast.

"Did you manage to get back to sleep ok?" she asked as she looked up at him.

Not wanting her to worry more than he knew she already was he just nodded in reply.

She didn't look fully convinced but seemed to let the matter go as she gave him a quick squeeze before moving out of their embrace to begin to lay the table. He attempted the help but she just pushed his hands away with a chuckle.

"Sit down Harry" she smiled.

He did so, knowing better than to argue with her and finished off what remained of his tea which by now, had turned luke warm at best.

* * *

Harry sighed as he pulled on his black robes and looked into the mirror. He knew this would be the first of many times that he would wear them over the coming weeks. He stared at his reflection, his face passive. He hadn't had much chance to really look at himself this past year and all the changes seemed to leap out at him. He was taller, his hair even messier and his shoulders were broader. His face had lost all of its childish features and was now one of a man. As his eyes roamed his reflection he let out a sad smile.

After one last straighten of his tie, he made his way out of his room and walked across the landing to knock on Ginny's door.

"Gin..." he said through the door.

He heard a movement and then a sniff. He gently pushed the door open and was met with the sight of Ginny sat on her bed, crying. She looked up at him with red puffy eyes and that was all the encouragement he needed. He quickly made his was over to her and, sitting down, placed an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him.

Ginny tucked herself into his chest and cried a little harder, her one hand clutching his top.

Harry had never really seen Ginny cry before. She wasn't that kind of girl. She was always strong and able to hold her own. But rather than feel awkward about it, he felt compelled to comfort her, as though it was his job to do so.

"Shhh. I'm here. I'm here" he whispered into her hair, following his words with a soft kiss.

No other words were needed.

He cradled her in his arms and let her confront her emotions. He realised this was probably the first time she had properly let herself grieve.

After a moment, she pulled back and just looked at him.

"sorry, it all just got on top of me" she muttered.

Harry leaned up and brushed away a stray tear with the pad of his thumb before cupping her face.

"Don't ever apologise for showing your emotions" he whispered, mirroring the words she had told him just yesterday.

Ginny let out a watery chuckled and pulled him into a gentle hug.

"I love you" she murmured into his shoulder.

Harry smiled "I love you too. You ready to go down?" he asked.

"I just need a couple of minutes"

He nodded as she stood from the bed and made her way to the bedroom door.

"I will be right back, just need to pop to the bathroom"

"Take all the time you need love" he replied.

As she left the room Harry took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. This was going to be a very hard day. But if they stuck together, he knew they would get through it.

* * *

It wasn't long before everyone started to arrive for the ceremony. The Weasley's were having Fred buried in his favourite part of the garden at George's insistence.

When Harry and Ginny had made it down to the living room, they found that several new people now occupied the room. Lee Jordan was there, talking to George, Hagrid had squeezed into the one corner, and Professor McGonagall was also there talking to Kingsley. She was the first to spot Harry and quickly made her way over to him.

"Harry" she smiled at him "glad to see you have come out of your self-imposed exile" she said sternly as she surveyed him over her glasses.

Harry let out a small chuckle. "How are you Professor?"

"A damn sight better than you I'm sure."

Harry just gave a weak smile.

"How's Hogwarts coming along?"

McGonagall sighed as she made her way over to the sofa and sat down, Harry joined her after tipping his head in greeting the other occupants of the room. Ginny was quick to join him on the sofa.

"Slowly. There are a lot of repairs that need to be done and many protection spells need to be re-cast. It will take time but we will get there."

"Do you need any help with the repairs?" Harry asked

McGonagall chuckled "No Potter, I think you have helped more than enough for one lifetime."

"I'm more than happy to help"

"Harry" McGonagall began with a smile and a shake of her head "You never give up do you? Believe me when I say that I have more than enough people helping to rebuild the castle. You would just be in the way. Don't worry about it, it's all sorted."

Harry nodded with a small smile. Secretly he was relieved that he didn't need to go back. He didn't think he could face returning to where it all happened. To see the evidence of war scaring his first home. To see all the faces of the people who died there. He wasn't ready yet. But he hoped he would be one day.

* * *

The service started at 11. And it was one of the most heartbreaking moments of George's life. But he lived up to his promise that it would be a fun affair. He had planted several fireworks under some of the chairs, which kept going off during the service, shocking the person who occupied it. Lee had also helped him in placing a hex on the Minister, so that whenever he said Fred's name, his hair turned orange. It caused many laughs from the audience and George knew there was no better way to send Fred off. Except for not sending him off at all.

Before he was ready, the Minister was calling him to the stand to do his speech. He stood up on shaky legs and made his way to the front, clearing his throat as he stepped on the podium.

"I have spent the last few days trying in vain to think of something that would sum Fred up. But I can't. All the words I have thought just don't seem to be enough. So I'm going to steal some words from him. Fred once said to me that a day in which you have not laughed, is a day that has been wasted. That was something he truly lived by. And when I look back, I cannot find one single day of our lives in which he didn't laugh. All I can see is laughter and happiness. There were so many good times with Fred that even if we were here forever, I wouldn't have time to talk about them all. Many of you, I am sure, have many good memories of your own." Several people in the audience let out gentle chuckles. " That's the way he would want to be remembered. With a smile on his face and a trick up his sleeve." George paused for a moment and swallowed thickly. "But I don't want to have to remember him. I want him to still be here with me, planning a new prank. The idea of a life without my brother, my twin, is almost more than I can take. Every time I look in the mirror I am reminded of him and am faced with the fact that I will never see him again. And it's the worst pain I have and will ever feel. I feel like I have lost an arm or the better half of me. Part of me is missing. But I need to be strong and go on, for Fred. I will carry on making pranks and selling jokes knowing that the voice in the back of my head giving me the ideas is him. And also I know that if I didn't, Fred would come back from the dead just to kick my sorry arse in gear. If he could see us all here feeling sorry for ourselves and crying, he would be laughing for days." Everyone broke into giggles. George looked over at the bright orange coffin that sat beside him. "So I will finish with this: be sure to have fun, have a laugh, and never waste a day of your life."

* * *

Harry walked along the grass, his hands tucked into his trouser pockets, kicking the odd stone that stood in his path. As he got closer to the house, he saw George sitting at the edge of Fred's grave. He stopped for a moment, watching the heart broken man before changing direction and walking towards him. The service had finished a while ago and most people were now inside the house. Harry heard a squawk come from the Burrow and as he looked through the open window, he saw that someone had fallen victim to a canary cream. Harry let out a soft chuckle.

He sat down next to George, his knees in line with his chin, and resting his arms across them, observed the gravestone.

_Fred Gideon Weasley_

_1981-1999_

_Mischief Managed_

For a while, neither man spoke. They just sat listening the world around them; voices carried down from inside the house, birds twittered as they settled in the trees, and the wind danced around them, rustling things in its wake.

"It was a great service George, Fred would have loved it."

George nodded his head in response.

Again they were met with silence. George's eyes looked to the ground before they flicked to Harry and then back to the Grave that sat before them.

"I miss him so much. I just wish I could see him again. If only there was a way that I could." He shot a meaningful look at Harry.

Harry looked at him, an uncomfortable feeling resting in his stomach.

George turned to face him "Ron told me about the Deathly Hallows. About the stone."

Harry began to shake his head, knowing that George was talking about dangerous things.

"You had the stone didn't you?" George asked, hope filling his voice.

"George..." Harry began hesitantly "No.."

"Yes you did. Please Harry, if you have it I will only use it once, just to talk to him for a minute. Please" he begged.

Harry took a deep breath and shakily ran a hand through his hair before settling his gaze once more on the red haired man.

"But it won't just be for a minute. If you had the stone, would you really let go if you knew it could keep Fred there forever?"

George didn't answer. He didn't need to.

"I used it George. In the forest. I saw my parents, Sirius and Remus. And while it was amazing and made me happy to see them, it was agony. To have them so close but not be able to touch them, hug them. Knowing that they weren't truly there at all..."

Harry paused and swallowed thickly before continuing

"while it gave me the strength I needed, if I hadn't had to face Tom, I would never have left them. I probably would have stayed there with them forever."

"See" George pleaded "The stones good, it helps."

Harry shook his head.

"It doesn't help George. While you get to see them, speak to them and have them there with you there comes a time where you have to stop, if you can find the strength. And when you do stop, you lose them all over again. Its torture, worse than any pain I have felt. And Knowing that, you would never let go and your life will become a shell. You will never move on. The stone isn't good George."

George looked down at the grave once more before turning his heartbroken eyes on Harry.

"I thought you of all people would understand" he whispered.

Harry stared back at him before placing a hand on his shoulder. "Believe me George, I do. Which is why I am doing this. Besides, even if I did want to give it to you, I couldn't. I lost it."

With a squeeze to George's shoulder Harry turned around and made his way back into the house.

* * *

Upon entering the living room he spotted Ginny, Ron and Hermione talking with McGonagall. He grabbed himself a drink off the table before making his way over to them. The room was fairly quiet as many of the guests had now gone home.

"Ah Potter, there you are. I wanted to talk to you, all of you."

Harry took a sip from his drink before sitting next to Ginny on the couch, who wasted no time in enveloping his hand in hers.

"Now that I have all four of you together, I wanted to know if you plan on coming back to Hogwarts. As last year was rather...shall we say...disrupted?.. We are allowing all those who would have been in their seventh year to come back and do it. As well as allowing those to repeat it, if they so wish."

The four teenagers sat quietly for a moment as McGonagall observed them. It was Hermione who eventually broke the silence.

"I would like to come back Professor. I want to be able to complete my NEWTs and to be Frank, I miss Hogwarts."

McGonagall smiled.

"I will be coming back too. Obviously I need to do my seventh year and Mum would murder me if I didn't finish." Joked Ginny.

"How about you Weasley?"

Ron looked up with an uncertain expression. "I'm not sure to be honest Professor, I haven't given it much thought."

"Well you have until September 1st to decide, so just drop me an owl when you have made your choice."

"I will" Ron promised.

"Harry?" The aged Professor asked as she turned her attention to him.

Harry looked down at his drink. He could feel four pairs of eyes boring into him, making him feel pressured about his response. At first he didn't answer, just watched as a bead of condensation dripped down the side of his glass. It met his hand with a cold drop.

McGonagall surveyed him a moment, seeing how he was deliberately avoiding her gaze. She felt she already knew his answer but hoped that she was wrong.

"Potter?" she coaxed.

Harry's gaze remained fixed on his drink but slowly he shook his head before whispering.

"No."

McGonagall pursed her lips. "Why not?"

After a moment's hesitation, he finally looked up to meet her eyes.

"I need to talk with Kingsley about rounding up the remaining Death Eaters. I need to make sure they are all caught" he murmured.

McGonagall closed her eyes at his answer and felt anger well up inside her. It was as she suspected. She sighed deeply before opening her eyes once more.

"That is not your job to worry about Harry. The Aurors and MLE are responsible for that. It's their job" she said sternly.

Ginny, Ron and Hermione were silent as they watched the exchange. They had all felt the mood drop at Harry's reply to the question. Each of them was silent, hoping McGonagall could talk him around.

"It needs to be done and I know who they are. I can help the Aurors catch them before anyone else gets hurt" Harry argued.

"Don't you think you have done enough? Harry, no one expects you to do this. You don't _have _to do this!" McGonagall's voice raised a little. If her concern for Harry hadn't been show during her reaction to seeing him supposedly dead it Hagrid's arms, it definitely was now.

"Yes I do. I need to."

"So that's it then? You're just going to go chasing after Death Eaters?"

Harry looked down again. "I need to do it" he repeated. He stood from the sofa and looked down at McGonagall.

"I appreciate your concern, really I do, but please accept that I need to do this. I need to make sure it's done right. I need to see with my own eyes that they are all caught and brought to justice."

With that, he turned on his heel and left the confines of the burrow. He had felt as though the walls were closing in on him. He shoved his hands deep in his pockets as he walked up the lane. The sun had dipped over the horizon and an inky blue sky was left in its wake. He needed to walk, to be unrestricted, to think about his decision. While everything he said about having to catch the Death Eaters had been true, there had been one issue that he hadn't brought up.

He was scared to go back to Hogwarts.

* * *

Ginny watched as Harry left the burrow. She wanted to follow him but knew that he needed time to himself for a moment. She turned her attention to McGonagall.

"Don't take it personally Professor. He's got his mind set that this is what he needs to do."

McGonagall let out a small smile. "He's the most stubborn person I have ever known. The more you push, the more he digs his heels in."

"That's a fair assessment" Ron added "but we all know what he is like. Has to do everything by himself."

Hermione nodded in agreement.

"Well then" McGonagall said as she stood "I think it's time I left. Mr Weasley, be sure to owl me your decision before September 1st and Miss Granger, Miss Weasley; I shall see you then. Tell Mr Potter I will be available anytime should he wish to talk."

"We will" Ginny replied.

"Very well, goodbye."

"Bye Professor" they chorused.

With a last nod, McGonagall said her goodbyes to Molly and Arthur before she apparated away.

* * *

As he walked along the lane he had the feeling that someone was following him and they had been for the past few minutes. He discreetly allowed his wand to slide from his sleeve and into his hand before whirling round on his pursuer.

He was met with the impressed and amused face of Kingsley Shacklebolt.

"Reflexes as good as ever I see" Kingsley smiled

Harry lowed his wand and stowed it back up his sleeve.

"Sorry. Force of habit."

Kingsley laughed "no need to apologise. It shows you have good instincts. How long did you know I was following you?"

"A while" Harry replied evasively, making Kingsley laugh again.

Harry turned around and carried on walking, Kingsley joined alongside him.

"How are you Harry? Or is that too much of a loaded question to ask you?"

Harry smiled a little "I'm better. How's everything with you? You handling being Minister ok?"

"I am only the temporary Minister of Magic until it's decided who shall officially take over."

"Well it's only a matter of time before you are _officially _Minister then" Harry chuckled.

Kingsley just shook his head in amusement " I'm glad that you have confidence in me."

"Well out of the three Ministers I have known, you are by far my favourite. Mainly because you actually qualify as a decent human being."

Kingsley's booming laugh echoed around the lane as they walked along.

"I hope you don't mind, but I couldn't help overhearing your conversation with Professor McGonagall."

Harry said nothing, choosing instead to watch his feet as they walked along the dusty lane, one after the other.

"If it truly is your wish to help catch the remaining Death Eaters I will be very happy to have your assistance, but I also want to make you an offer."

Harry stopped and turned to face him.

"Offer?" he questioned.

Kingsley nodded. " I know it was always your desire to become an Auror and I want to offer you a job"

Harry's eyebrows shot up into his hair "as an Auror?"

"Yes."

"But I didn't finish Hogwarts, I have no qualifications."

"You have O.W.L.S" Kingsley reminded him " and you did just defeat the darkest wizard of all time so I think that shows what you are cut out for."

Harry's expression turned a little angry. "I do not want special treatment because of who I am Kingsley."

" I understand. And you won't get any. You will be required to complete a year's training in which, as you haven't taken your N.E.W.T.S, you will also have to study various subjects to gain knowledge in areas such as transfiguration, spell work, potions, defence strategy, that sort of thing. After the first year you will then be qualified as a Junior Auror and will have to complete another year of additional training, which is usually a lot of on the job work and field work, at which time you will then be a fully qualified Auror." He explained.

Harry still looked a little unconvinced.

"I promise you Harry, that is what every Auror goes through. Only in your case, you will be allowed to do field work your first year as you have, in my opinion, earned the right to do so and quite frankly, I want your experience and help to round up the Death Eaters. I may also ask for your assistance at trials, should you wish to participate."

Harry looked at him in shock.

Kingsley smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I know that it is a lot of information for you to take in right now, but I don't need an answer right away. If you no longer wish to be an Auror and just want to help round up the Death Eaters I will not stop you. It is your decision Harry."

"When would I have to start all the training?" Harry asked.

"Mid September is when the programme officially starts. If you like I can owl you some more information and you can come to the Ministry. I can show you round, introduce you to some fellow Aurors who would be happy to talk to you about any questions you have."

"Thank you Kingsley, I appreciate it."

He nodded " You just owl me when you are good and ready. And in the meantime, should any information come to me about the whereabouts of any Death Eaters, you will be the first to know."

"Thanks."

Kingsley patted him on the shoulder. "You're a good lad Harry. Just be sure to make the choice that you want, and not the one everyone else wants for you. If you decide that you want to be the barman at the three broomsticks, don't let anyone stand in your way. You, more than anyone, deserve to be happy."

Harry nodded and held out his hand for Kingsley to shake, which he did so firmly, grasping Harry's elbow.

"I shall see you soon Harry."

"Yeah, see you soon."

And with that, Kingsley apparated, leaving Harry alone in the lane once more.

* * *

"He's been gone a while. Maybe I should go and look for him?" asked Ron, rising from his seat.

"No" answered Ginny. "He will be back when he is ready."

The majority of the guests had gone home, only Hagrid and Lee remained. Harry still hadn't come back and George was still sitting out by Fred's grave.

Everyone else has settled themselves down in the living room.

The atmosphere was quiet and reflective, most people lost in their own thoughts.

Molly was in the kitchen, her eyes fixed on George and occasionally flicking to the path that lead up the lane. An old tea towel was grasped in her hands as he wrung the cloth between her calloused fingers.

She jumped as a hand was placed on her shoulder.

"Molly dear, come and sit down. They will come in soon. Leave them be" Arthur whispered to his wife.

Molly turned round and wrapped her hands around his middle, her head burrowing into the nook in his shoulder that she found over thirty years ago.

"Why did he have to die Arthur? Why was our baby taken away from us?"

Arthur rubbed his hands up and down her back soothingly as they shared their grief over their lost son. He didn't have an answer for her.

* * *

Harry walked back up the path to the burrow, stopping for a moment to observe it. The house exuded warmth, the orange glow that spilled from the windows pulled him to the house like a magnet. He sighed deeply and cast a glance over to Fred's grave, surprised to see George still there. For the second time that day, Harry made his way over to him.

"Come on George" he murmured "Let's get inside shall we?"

George looked up at him, his expression similar to that of a lost and scared little boy.

"I don't want to leave him"

Harry's heart ached for him.

"You're not leaving him George; he is always with you and always will be. Even death cannot change that" Harry put a hand on his shoulder. "Come back inside, be with your family."

* * *

Bill passed out several glasses before promptly filling them up with firewhiskey. Just as he was filling up two extras, the door opened and both Harry and George entered the room. Everyone looked for a moment but thankfully, no one said anything. Harry made his way over to Ginny and sat next to her, grabbing her hand and offering a small smile which she returned. George followed Harry and sat next him, taking the offered firewhiskey from Bill. He raised his glass in the air.

"To Fred, the funniest bugger who ever lived."

Everyone laughed.

"To Fred" they all chorused.

* * *

**I found this chapter quite difficult to write as I wanted to show several people's grief while at the same time, not wanting to overwhelm you with it! Let me know what you think. Butterbeers for all of you who review! You know you want to: who can resist the deliciously refreshing taste of sweet Butterbeer? **

**Next chapter: Remus and Tonks' funeral and Harry finally meets his Godson. **


	4. Reality creeps in

**Hey guys. Sorry for the delay in posting but I had a real tough time writing this chapter and making it all flow properly! I find that emotive conversations between characters can be very hard to write! Anyhow, may I present chapter 4. Enjoy! **

* * *

He woke up abruptly, sweating and panting; his throat hoarse from screaming. A dream. It was just a dream. He rubbed his hands over his face and he placed his elbows on his knees. It wasn't real. He was safe at the Burrow.

As his breathing returned to normal and his heartbeat slowed down, he put on his glasses and spared a glance at the door. No one had come in which meant the silencing charm, which he had placed on his room before he went to sleep, had worked. He let out a sigh of relief.

He looked at the clock. 3:45am. He had only been asleep for a mere 3 hours.

Harry leaned back against the headboard.

"Get out of there" he muttered as he gently banged his head against the wall. He didn't understand why he was still having nightmares. It was all supposed to be over. Riddle was gone, he posed no threat to anyone or anything. But that didn't stop Harry dreaming night after night, watching him kill everyone he loved.

He swung his feet over the bed and put his head in his hands. Maybe some dreamless sleep potion would help? He would have to ask someone for it, which meant telling them why he needed it. Harry quickly dismissed that thought. He would just have to find another way.

Knowing that he wouldn't be able to sleep anymore, he quietly slipped out his room and made his way downstairs. He stopped briefly outside Ginny's room; torn with the need to be comforted but not wanting to wake her up. He eventually carried on past her room and down into the lounge. There was no need to be selfish and disrupt her sleep just because he was awake.

He sat on the worn sofa and leant his head on the back. His mind began wondering. Today was Remus and Tonks' funeral. His stomach dropped with a jolt. He hadn't let himself spare much thought to them because when he did, he felt as though his heart may explode from the pain.

Remus.

Newly married with a newborn son. His honorary Godfather after Sirius had died. The man who had taught him how to produce a patronus, who had spent hours talking to him about his mother and father, the last link to his parents. Dead.

And then there was Tonks. Harry was sad to admit that he didn't know her as well as most people did but he had liked her from the instant he met her. She was carefree, fun and clumsy as hell. He smiled as he thought about many of the times he had witnessed one of her many inept fallings.

Harry sighed deeply when his thoughts then moved onto his godson. The little baby who was now an orphan. Whose parents had been taken away from him at an age where he would never remember them. Even though he had never met Teddy, Harry felt the overwhelming need to protect him. To keep him safe. Perhaps this was due to the fact that their situations were strikingly similar. Or maybe the fact that he felt it was his duty to look after the child.

He didn't know what was going to happen in that respect. Would Andromeda want to raise him by herself or would he have to? Although the thought of looking after a baby terrified him, he would be there for Teddy. He would get over his fear. At least he hoped he would.

* * *

Ginny woke up much earlier than she would have liked. It was just before 6am. Resigning herself to the fact that she wouldn't get back to sleep; she heaved off the covers and padded out of her room. She paused outside Harry's door. He hadn't woke up in the night she noted happily, wasn't plagued by nightmares. She pushed the door open softly but her happiness was short lived when she saw an empty bed, the sheets askew. She looked across the hall to the bathroom to check if he was in there but the door was wide open. She sighed as she made her way downstairs finding Harry on the couch, his head rested on the back, hands covering his face.

She mentally sighed as she observed him from the doorway. He seemed oblivious to her presence. He looked beyond tired she mused; she was willing to bet her wand that he hadn't slept properly. She knew he hadn't just by looking at him; it was naive of her to think that he had. She had wanted to talk to him yesterday about his nightmares but knew that if she pushed the subject, he wouldn't discuss it. It was now another thing she added on her list to talk to him about. The list was getting longer by the day.

She walked into the room, her footfalls announcing her presence. Harry cracked an eye open and seeing that it was Ginny, he pulled himself straighter up on the couch.

"How long have you been up?" she asked as she sat down beside him, her body instinctively curling into his. Harry put an arm around her shoulders.

"Not long" he replied.

Ginny arched an eyebrow at him and he looked down sheepishly.

"You're a lousy liar Harry"

He cracked a smile at that. "Ok, I have been up for a couple of hours." He figured he should at least tell her the truth. "Too much going on in my head." He omitted the part about the nightmare.

Ginny looked a little more convinced, but still seemed slightly sceptical, as though she knew he wasn't telling her everything.

"What's got you up so early?" he asked by way of distraction.

Ginny played with a loose thread on his t-shirt "No idea. I just woke up and then couldn't get back to sleep. Thought I may as well get up."

Harry just nodded in reply.

"I am really not looking forward to toady" He admitted after a brief pause.

Ginny hugged him to her. "I know. Me neither."

"I was thinking...I would like to say a few words about Remus today at the service. That is if Andromeda doesn't mind" he mumbled into her hair.

"I'm sure she won't" Ginny said softly.

The conversation trailed away again, both just content just to sit there with each other. It was moments like this that Ginny had missed so much last year. When they were together at Hogwarts they spent a lot of time curled together in some little haven just talking to each other. The rest of the world melted away and all that was left was the two of them.

She remembered a time when she thought she would never have that again and she instinctively hugged Harry closed to her.

His arms that encircled her squeezing her gently in response and, as though he had read her mind, he whispered; "I know there is so much we need to talk about and I promise you I will tell you everything. I promise. I just need a few more days to work through it all. When the funerals are over, I will tell you everything."

She nodded into his chest, happy to wait a few days if it meant she got the explanation she had been craving. She had heard snippets of his adventures from various sources but wanted the important things to be explained by him.

She took one last moment to hug him before she pulled away and stood up, offering her hand.

"Come on" she said simply.

Harry looked at her, confusion in his eyes.

"Where are we going?" has asked as he took her hand.

"We are going to make breakfast before Mum gets up. I feel in the mood for pancakes" she explained as she steered them into the kitchen.

"Taking over Molly Weasley's kitchen?" he asked in amusement as he allowed himself to be pulled along "You are very brave indeed Miss Weasley."

Ginny let out a chuckle "Well I have you to protect me Mr Potter. Now come on, I'm going to teach you how to make the best pancakes in the world."

Harry let out a little snort "Your modesty astounds me."

* * *

When Molly came downstairs an hour later, she wasn't expecting to see her usually tidy kitchen in such a mess. There was flour everywhere; it looked as though it had snowed in the kitchen overnight. And standing in the middle of it all, covered in flour themselves, were her daughter and honorary son. She was about to reprimand them when Ginny let out a shriek.

"you wouldn't dare" muttered Ginny as she looked at Harry's hand, poised and ready to fling a lump of pancake mixture at her.

"Wouldn't I?" he challenged. His usually vivid black hair was now streaked with white flour, looking as though he had aged considerably. "You shouldn't start things you can't finish."

That being said, he flung the batter at her; hitting her right on the cheek with a resounding splat.

Ginny looked at him in shock and Harry started laughing madly. She couldn't help but grin back at him. "Oh you are in for it now." she lunged for the mixture bowl as Harry turned away from her, shielding it from her reach.

Molly smiled warmly at the sight. She hadn't heard her daughter laugh in such a long time and she couldn't remember the last time she had seen such a genuine smile grace Harry's face. Deciding to have a little fun herself she hid her smile, replacing it with a stern look as she put her hands on her hips.

"What on earth is going on here?" she said stonily.

Harry and Ginny paused, his one hand on her wrist in an attempt to block her from reaching the batter while the other held the bowl securely. Their eyes snapped to the kitchen doorway where they were met with a cross looking Mrs Weasley.

Molly held in a smile at the look of horror on their faces.

"We erm..." Harry struggled to voice his explanation, never really being on the receiving end of Molly's motherly anger. "We were..."

He looked to Ginny for help, who rolled her eyes in response.

"I was teaching Harry how to make pancakes" she offered to her Mother.

Molly stared the two down, before a smile broke out across her face.

"Well, how about I make them so that they may actually be a chance of eating some."

Ginny smiled back at her mother while Harry let out a breath of relief.

" I will clean up the mess Mrs Weasley" he assured.

Molly just waved her wand and the kitchen was clean once more. "How about you go clean yourselves while I make the pancakes."

Harry and Ginny nodded as they made their way to the stairs.

"oh, and Harry dear?" he turned around to face her "I think it's about time you stopped calling me Mrs Weasley. Molly is fine."

Harry nodded and smiled. "Ok...Molly."

She just beamed at him as he made his way out the kitchen, her smile forming into a sad one once he had gone. Ideally, should love for Harry to call her "Mum" but knew that was too much to ask of him right now. While she didn't want to overtake Lily's role, she wanted Harry to know how much she regarded him as one of her own. She sighed as she began to get breakfast ready. Maybe one day he would.

* * *

The door was opened and a slightly flustered Andromeda greeted them.

"Come in" she said softly as she moved aside to let the group enter and directed them towards the lounge.

Harry remembered the last time he had been here, over a year ago. He and Hagrid had arrived after the botched mission to get everyone safely to the burrow. Ted had been there to greet them. Harry didn't know how Andromeda was coping by herself. She had lost her husband, daughter and son-in-law and was left to raise a new baby alone. He had to admire her strength.

"Harry?"

He was pulled out of his musings to see everyone looking at him. They were all now situated in the lounge and he hadn't even noticed.

"Sorry" he muttered sheepishly "I was miles away."

"I asked if you wanted to see Teddy? As I understand it, Remus and Dora made you Godfather?" spoke Andromeda softly.

Harry swallowed and nodded nervously.

Andromeda moved over to him and for the first time, he noticed the small bundle that was cradled in her arms.

"Here you go" she said as she held the baby out to him.

At his anxious look she smiled softly. "Just hold out your arms and be sure to support his head."

Harry lifted his arms awkwardly, trying to mirror the way Andromeda's were and, before he thought he was ready, the lump that was Teddy was placed in them. He just stood there stiffly, praying that he wouldn't drop him.

George let out a scoff from across the room.

"Merlin Harry, you faced the darkest wizard of all time and won, yet a small baby makes you all on edge. I don't think I have ever seen you look so scared" he laughed.

This seemed to break the ice as everyone else joined in the mirth as they watched Harry with Teddy.

"Well excuse me, but I haven't held a baby before. I don't want to break him!" Harry snipped back.

His naive comment only caused the others to laugh harder.

Harry ignored them and finally looked down at the baby in his arms.

Teddy was wide awake and staring back at him with mild curiosity. His vivid Blue hair, which Harry recognised from the picture Remus had shown him, faded slowly and was replaced by thick, jet black locks.

Andromeda let out a soft gasp. "That's the first time he has changed his hair colour when awake. I have only ever seen it change when he has been asleep."

Harry felt a smile break out on his face as he looked down at Teddy.

"If you want to mirror a hairstyle, I wouldn't recommend mine kid" he chuckled.

Teddy just cooed back at him, black hair firmly in place.

This wasn't so bad, Harry mused as he bounced the baby slightly. Why had he been afraid of something so small, so harmless?

Before he had chance to ponder this further, Teddy let out a tiny wail.

"What did I do?" he asked, panicked.

Andromeda laughed. "You didn't do anything, he's probably hungry. Do you want to give him his bottle?"

"Yeah, sure" Harry replied.

"Well, take a seat. I will be right back."

Harry wedged himself on the sofa in between Hermione and Ginny, who immediately started to fuss over Teddy.

"I have never understood the fascination girls have with babies" Ron muttered as he watched his sister and girlfriend babble nonsense to Teddy.

"It's because he's cute" replied Ginny matter-of-factly as she ran a hand through Teddy's still black hair.

"Well I would leave it a few years before you two have one if I were you" Ron grinned at Harry and Ginny.

Harry's head snapped up alarmingly at Ron's declaration.

"Ronald!" Hermione admonished.

"What? I was only saying" he muttered

"Well how about you don't say and stop making people uncomfortable."

Ron scowled as George made the motion of whip being cracked. Ron thumped him in the arm.

Ginny shook her head at her brothers' antics and turned to look at Harry who was watching her with a wistful expression.

"What?" she asked him with a grin.

He smiled back at her. "Nothing" he said as he looked back down at Teddy, who had found Harry's hand to be an acceptable distraction until his food arrived.

* * *

The funeral was brutal. He knew it would be but that didn't make him any more prepared for it. Andromeda had gotten up to day a few words about Tonks and all too soon it was Harry's turn to address everyone.

He nervously walked up to the podium. He hated speaking in front of people but he was doing this for Remus. His hands shook a little as he held onto the parchment but he took a calming breath before he began;

"I have known Remus for a few years, but not nearly as many as I should have. I know some of his deepest secrets and his most wonderful accomplishments. I also know that the day that he died, the world lost a very special man. He was the type that was more concerned about doing the right thing than he was about doing the easy thing. That, unfortunately, is a trait that grows increasingly rarer in today's world" he paused a moment to collect himself and looked down at the ground.

"Remus was by no means given an easy life. He knew suffering, persecution and discrimination. He was judged severely and unfairly by something that was beyond his control, by something that in no way defined who he was. This was his greatest flaw. He believed that he was less worthy than others, less human. I never did take the time to tell him that he wasn't defined by the wolf, that that wasn't who he was. He was defined for his caring nature, his eagerness to help and his courage to stand up for what was right. I wish I took the time to tell him that. But when I look here today, see the son he left behind, I know that Remus also knew happiness, however brief it was. And for that I am thankful. I had never seen him as happy as he was the day Teddy was born, the day he became a father, the day that the woman he loved gave him the greatest gift of all. To know that he had that happiness and contentment, if only for a short while, shows that his life wasn't all about suffering. His two greatest achievements are with us all now, although one is only here in spirit." Harry paused once more and focused his attention on the baby cradled in Andromeda's arms.

"Today, as we gather to say goodbye, it is clear that while he will not physically be with us anymore, his spirit will live on as long as each of us are alive; as long as his son is alive. We now have the opportunity to live the rest of our lives in ways that will bring honor to a man who spent his life showing us how to be our best. Let's never forget the lessons we learned from him. Let's choose to be better for having known him."

There was silence among the crowd as he stepped down and returned to his seat on rather shaky legs. Ginny reached for his hand and held it tightly as the minister continued with the rest of the service.

"He would be proud of you" Ginny whispered into his ear.

Harry smiled a little. "Let's just hope I can keep on making him proud."

* * *

Harry looked at the tiny baby in the crib. Now that he had fallen asleep, Teddy's hair had turned the same shade of brown as Remus'. He looked so peaceful, completely unaware that his parents had been buried mere hours ago, that he would have to grow up without them.

He ran a hand over Teddy's soft, downy hair. Harry's heart ached for the little boy. How was this fair? What had Teddy done to deserve this? No child should have their parents so cruelly snatched away.

He heard footsteps on the carpet before a pair of arms encircled his waist. Ginny said nothing but placed her head against his shoulder blades.

"It's not fair" Harry whispered into the quiet room. "He doesn't deserve this."

Ginny's arms squeezed him tighter as they surveyed the sleeping baby.

"No one deserves it. Teddy doesn't... you didn't. But there is nothing we can do to change it." Ginny spoke softly. "The people who suffer most are always the ones who don't deserve it."

"I wish I could make this better for him, I wish there was a way for him to have his parents." Harry mumbled as his hands grasped hers around his waist.

"You can't bring Remus and Tonks back for him," Ginny whispered tenderly. "Just like Sirius couldn't bring James and Lily back for you. But you can be there for him, love him. Let him know how amazing his mother and father were. Help him to keep their memory alive."

"I'm scared." Harry admitted

"Of what?"

"Of messing up. Of him having a childhood like mine."

Ginny turned him around and placed her hands on his face.

"There is no way that is ever going to happen" she said fiercely. "The people who raised you are poor excuses for human beings. Teddy has already had a better start, because he has you. He has his Grandmother. There is no way that he will have a childhood like yours."

Harry looked deeply into her eyes as his own filled with tears

"It's not fair" he repeated. "He's going to grow up thinking they have abandoned him. That they didn't care."

Ginny's heart broke. "Oh Harry." She pulled him into her arms and stroked the hair at the nape of his neck. She realised that he was thinking these things because this was exactly what he had gone through as a child. She wanted to weep for the younger Harry. For all that he had lost and suffered. For every horrible moment he had experienced during his childhood due to the abuse he suffered at the Dursley's.

"Teddy won't think that Harry. Because he has the best person to show him that's not true." She pulled back and placed a kiss on his cheek. "His start in life may not have been the best, but he already has plenty of people who care about him."

She paused for a moment to let her words sink in. She knew he would need a moment to process what she had said. She smiled softly at him. "I will be downstairs if you need me ok?"

He nodded at her and Ginny took that as her queue to leave, making her way out of the nursery.

Harry just stood there for a moment before turning back to look at Teddy. He was met with curious eyes looking back at him.

He smiled at him as he tickled under his chin. "You're supposed to be asleep little man."

Teddy merely cooed and raised his hands up to his Godfather.

Harry leant over the side of the crib and picked him up, holding him securely in his arms. He made his way over to the rocking chair in the corner of the room and sat down. Teddy burrowed into his embrace, his eyes never leaving Harry's face.

Harry stroked the tip of his finger down Teddy's nose, tracing the features of his face.

"I'm so sorry" he whispered hoarsely. "You shouldn't have to go through all this."

The baby just continued to look up at him, his innocent eyes boring into Harry's soul.

"I promise you this Teddy; I will always be here for you, no matter what. Nothing will stop me from doing that. Whenever you need someone to talk to, to play with you, to cuddle you, love you. I will be here" he vowed. "I am going to do everything I possibly can to make sure you grow up happy. I swear to Merlin I will."

Teddy's little hand grabbed at the finger that was rubbing his cheek, his little fist grasping it in a fierce embrace and squeezed tightly.

Harry looked at how his one finger dwarfed Teddy's entire hand, highlighting to him how small and helpless he was. He felt the tears swell in his eyes at how much this baby had already suffered. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat as his hand encircled the baby's.

"I promise I will be everything to you that Sirius couldn't be for me"

He leant down and placed a soft kiss on Teddy's forehead to seal his pledge.

* * *

Ginny made her way downstairs where everyone was gathered. Hermione was the first to spot her and quickly excused herself from the conversation she was having with Kingsley.

"Hey. Is Harry ok?" She asked.

Ginny responded with a tight smile. "He will be. I think he just needed some quiet time with Teddy. Take it all in you know?"

Hermione nodded in response. "I imagine it is a lot for him to process. I can't imagine having responsibility over a baby at this age."

Again, Ginny just nodded. Hermione surveyed her for a moment before she placed a hand on her arm.

"He will be ok Ginny. I know that's what everyone else keeps saying but in time he will be. Harry is the strongest person I know."

Ginny didn't reply.

"Come on" said Hermione as she looped her arm through Ginny's, "Let's go for a walk."

She led them out into the garden and it was a moment before Ginny spoke.

"I just don't know what to do Hermione. He seems so broken and sad. But then there are other moments where he seems ok. Like this morning, he was laughing and smiling again like he used to before. It's like one step forward and two steps back."

"You do more for him then you realise Ginny. Just being in the same room as him seems to help him, your presence alone soothes him."

"I just wish there was more I could do."

Hermione sighed as she surveyed the younger witch. "This is really getting to you isn't it?"

"I can't stand to see him hurting Hermione. I know everyone is but he...sometimes he's just like an empty shell. Like his mind checks out and leaves his body behind."

Hermione sat down on a bench and pulled Ginny to sit next to her.

"What you have to understand is that there is so much that Harry needs to work through. Not just this last year like most people are dealing with. He's working through the past 8 odd years. His whole life probably. He never gave himself time to deal with things properly. Like his parents. I doubt he ever took the time to grieve them properly" she paused for a brief moment before continuing.

"And then when he started Hogwarts and learned the truth about who he really was, he had to face the fact that his parents were murdered. That his relatives lied to him and then come to terms with the fact that he was the most famous wizard in the world and the number one target of Voldemort. But before all that could sink in he then had to cope with the deaths of Cedric, Sirius and Dumbledore. The minute he faced what had happened, something else came to take its place. All that grief and anger and any other emotion he has kept bottled up inside him his whole life needs to come out, to be dealt with. Harry thinks through things differently than other people. And the way he rationalises everything gives him the idea that the people he cares about and is close to will leave in some way. You just need to show him that that isn't going to happen with you. Show him that you are there for him will help him in any way he needs."

Ginny nodded in agreement. "He told me this morning that in a few days, when he is ready, we are going to talk about everything that happened. I'm hoping that will help. He just seems so reluctant to tell anyone anything. And I know its because he isn't used to people caring and he doesn't want to worry us but I just wish he could be more open."

Hermione paused for a moment. She knew exactly how Harry could be and it hurt her too to see him pull away from everyone. He had been doing it for as long as she had known him.

She wrapped an arm around Ginny's shoulder and gave her a side hug.

"Just be there for him Ginny. Show him you are here to stay. If we all do that then in time it will hopefully lead him to open up a bit more."

"And if that doesn't work?" Ginny questioned.

"Don't worry, it will."

Hermione said it with so much conviction that Ginny couldn't help but believe it.

* * *

Harry finally rejoined everyone downstairs and caught Andromeda's attention.

"He's asleep now" he told her.

Andromeda just nodded at him. "Thank you."

"Can I ..." Harry paused for a moment as Andromeda surveyed him "Would it be ok if I came to visit him?" he asked nervously.

Andromeda gave him a soft smile before placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You can come and see him anytime you like Harry. And when Teddy is a little older we can sort out an arrangement on when you can have him."

Harry smiled gratefully "Thank you."

Andromeda observed the young man for a moment. She by no means was going to disallow Harry from seeing Teddy, but at this exact moment in time, she didn't think he was quiet ready to take on such an active parental role in her Grandson's life.

"Harry, how about you come over in a few days. You can see Teddy and we can discuss the arrangement with you as his Godfather."

Harry looked alarmed for a moment "But I..."

Andromeda suddenly realised how poorly she had phrased her statement.

"Oh, forgive me Harry. That came out wrong. What I meant was we can talk about times to visit, what you feel comfortable with regarding Teddy, that sort of thing. I didn't mean that you shouldn't be his Godfather. I am sorry it sounded that way."

Harry looked instantly relieved. "That's ok Mrs Tonks. I just want you to know that I will do anything I can to help look after him."

Andromeda smiled sadly at him. "I know you will."

* * *

**Ta-da! I really hope this chapter made sense. It's been written for weeks now but I was reluctant to post it because it didn't feel right to me...it still doesn't. Anyway, let me know your thoughts! Please review. **


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